#>_< its here. ive finally done it
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Hi! My name is Kabuto and I’m the goofer behind Aphids/Bugstuck and a ton of original work.
Unfortunately, due to stuff outside my powers, I’m going to have to move again soon :( which is scary and sucks. I’m not thrilled about it, but I don’t have a choice. I’m hoping people might enjoy my work enough to help cover rent and food!
While I’m still struggling to find a part-time job, getting paid for art means more time to make the Cool Content you guys want to see. I spend around 30 hours a week drawing, both to improve my abilities and complete projects. With your support I can draw your requests+work on aphids without having to stress so much. I’d like to release 3 pages or more a week along with a regular ask requests! Designing characters is super fun for me, after all! :Y
So checkout my patreon!! I CAN DRAW BUGS
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! i hope you get to eat a lot of candy and watch a scary movie if you celebrate :D
#idr if ive ever done a halloween themed mlb drawing#my art#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#ml#mlb#chat noir#marinette dupain cheng#marichat#halloween#happy halloween#i dressed up as ellie from tlou2 for my school's halloween party this past weekend#my hair was the perfect length :D its grown out a lot#i had a lot of fun doing that cosplay cause I just used stuff from my closet#also! it snowed today!! winter is finally here
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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some angsty kanera here for you :3
#ive had this piece on my mind for like months now and i finally FINALLY got around to finishing it#is it perfect? no#am i happy with it? almost certainly not#but its done now so here you go#im ill when i think about them#i love them very very dearly#near and dear to my heart#star wars#star wars rebels#star wars fanart#kanan jarrus#hera syndulla#kanan x hera#kanera#star wars rebels fanart#my art#Spotify
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House M.D. but it's when Wilson says House's name
#house md#james wilson#prince's talk tag#finally!!! it's done! this and the house version took almost two weeks to do#first off thank you to the clinic-duty team on livejournal for making the transcripts for these episodes#because this video would be near impossible to make without their clear transcripts. I hope y'all are doing well#ive been reading a lot of fics with these two and i see how the authors have the characters refer to each other in their fics#and that got me wondering how much do they say each other's name in the show and how do they refer to each other#since this is the wilson video ill put his stats here#s1 was 11 times s2 was 18 s3 was 45 s4 was 32 s5 was 41 s6 was 60 s7 was 47 and s8 was 48#in total he says his name 302 times. Mostly refers to him just by House#the only time I've heard him say his first name its when he's being professional or when he's really angry (and that one time he proposed)#and even then it's always the full name not just the first name#the only instance I've seen him use just his first name was on that note he put on House's xmas gift that we see in season 5#and as much as I wanted to put that moment in here he never actually says the contents of the note out loud so i had to leave it out#but what surprised me was he says House's name more than House says his name#especially when the earlier seasons didn't have him say his name as much
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
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He is going on my burn book for sure.
This fugly greedy little corporate rat be stealing wallets from twst players. DO NOT TRUST THIS RODENT‼️‼️‼️
#writing this bc how dare u set up playful land event along with sebek armor..birthdays..and tsum event IMPOSSIBLE for players to keep up#and save keys in time to get the cards that they want#this rat is responsible for not allowing the players to save or give a short period of farming#but NOOOOOO#keep your wallets in check yall#there are rats in the sewer systems 🙄🙄#and his name is mickey mouse🗣‼️‼️#Do not trust this mf#im screaming bc ive been WANTING to get the housewarden cards and now that theyre finally here ik i cant get them 💀💀#screw this greedy mouse#its on SIGHT when i dream abt that funky ahh mirror in my ramshackle dorm#hands will be CAUGHT#//and for anyone taking me seriously#//its all a joke LMAOOO#im just done with this twst game and its farming system#twst#twisted wonderland
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OH MY GOD HEY GUYS !!! I DID... SOMETHING!!!!
low-key very bad at using capcut but I tried gang , hope its acceptable lmaoo
(special thanks to @/lopilofficial for helping me find the font for this thing, rlly appreciate it man!!)
#cold front swap au#cold front#swap au#augustine orlov#winnie bosko#im so glad im finally done with this#no idea why ive been procrastinating on this#but its out here for the world to see now
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then this all has meaning. our time together—every moment—is worthwhile... ... and i am unburdened by regret.
#ffxiv#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#pandaemonium#pandaemonium spoilers#themis#erichthonios#elidibus#anabaseios#patch 6.4#patch 6.4 spoilers#ffxiv art#ff14 fanart#digital art#clip studio paint#cave scribbles#i forgot to post this here#once the spoiler embargo was up#its still one of my favorite pieces ive done
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a big brain dump about autism, life, being indigenous, and whatever else is going on
so the past few months I made it a personal journey to understand my autism more (and maybe a possible ptsd diagnosis but whatever whatever whatever). and that's what i'm calling it--the autism--because no other thing makes sense for me, and while i'm parsing through childhood memories and experiences, it's definitely...a bittersweet conclusion? bitter because in a lot of ways, i dont relate to the stereotypical autistic experience because every autistic person who has clocked me was usually a White Queer. It's probably why it's taken so long to get to this point of concluding Autism is what it is. I grew up in an immigrant family as a girl, and for that reason I was expected to not be disabled and to be a completely normal and high achieving Mexican catholic girl who went to college and became a doctor or whatever. Now i'm a fag of a man doing none of those things haha.
My older brother was supposed to be assessed for ASD in his youth, and like most immigrant dads, mine decided that nothing was wrong with him and the rest is history. Except my older brother is a man riddled with childhood trauma, shame, and so much autism. Absolutely uncharted rates of autism, and while he gets some sort of pity from my parents for him ("it's all out fault" "he never got the help he needed" "cut him some slack he doesnt understand"), I can never let my own parents know about how much I struggle. Hell, I can barely show it to my own friends because even they don't understand the extent of my autistic struggles. it's actually caused continuous miscommunications, people mad at me, me mad at myself, meltdowns, shutdowns, and a lot of crying. And shame. (a peer recently even demeaned my habit of keeping to myself, despite the fact that I had actually been trying to put myself out there more)
so i'm at a point in my life where I've accepted that I can only take responsibility over how I communicate, and I take ownership over that. Accepting this responsibility allows me to keep myself safe, as I've essentially lived over 2 decades of my life feeling like I was responsible for not just my communication, but everyone else's, including all of the judgements, missed cues, failures, miscommunications, and whatever else came from it. It's definitely double empathy. Last time I truly took on everyone's communication, it nearly killed me (cue over a year of suicidality). But, in a lot of ways it's very freeing. I'm sort of detaching myself from this neurotypical/White need to socially interact with others on their terms. In other ways, it's restricting. I uh. Don't really talk to a lot of people nowadays, and there used to be days where I wouldn't say a single word out loud. But because I don't talk to as many people, I'm able to put energy into the quality of my connections and not just the quantity. Which unfortunately a lot of people take personally. They dont like you admitting that you only see them as an acquittance, or as a classmate, or something like a friend but not quite there. I find comfort knowing how people feel about me, even if its that they actually dont feel close to me. Great! Now I know! Knowing makes me feel safe! But I'm finding that people actually really fucking hate when you admit that to them, the how you actually slot them in ur brain in terms of social levels. I can understand why, but I also don't get it.
Another thing that's helped is I've changed how I do eye contact. I used to make eye contact with professors or classmates while I spoke up in class because I thought that was important. Now I've found I can actually focus more on what I'm trying to say when I don't make eye contact. My god how freeing that has been. I don't have the same anxiety as I used to before, nor do I experience all of the involuntary blushing as I did for many years of my life. It didn't matter how confident or how prepared I felt, I would just blush furiously and I fucking hate it. Now my blushing is almost nonexistent, and I say what I mean with the flat ass tone that I love speaking in because it makes me feel safe. Sure, I miss the real-time non-verbal reactions to my words in class, but it's an okay trade-off for feeling more safe in myself and more confident in the classroom.
another thing is my internship. I work with majority neurodivergent students, and many of my clients have autism, adhd, or both, and are sometimes BIPOC, trans, or children of immigrants. Man, I've been having a blast. Sure, I'm learning how to be a therapist and best practices, but screw everyone in my life who has called me "cold" "emotionless" or "heartless". I have connected with so many people on such a human level, and I have sat there and helped them hold their pain in that tiny gay office for 45 minutes every week, and even though it's only 45 minutes, i'm showing them that they're allowed to ask for help holding that pain. I have had challenging sessions, difficult conversations, and times where I wasn't sure I would know what to say. But at it's core, I know that I'm capable of connecting with the person in front of me because my autism brain is automatically in tune with the person in front of me. It is so wonderful, and overwhelming, and so confusing all at once. When people start crying in front of me, I feel tears well up in my eyes, even if I'm not actually sad with them. It shows me that I'm capable of this empathy that so many people over my life have questioned, which they questioned all because I processed things slowly, or made quick decisions, or because I was honest about how I felt.
on to being mixed indigenous. Phew. I've been trying to build more connections with other Native folk, and I have a couple who I can thankfully call friends and who have never disrespected my detribalized experience. but recently I was interviewed a few times for a fellow indigenous researcher's dissertation, and I did not expect to be chosen on account that I am detribalized. But it had been a lovely experience and I finished my final interview today. It really left me with a lot of emotions that are hard to put into words. Mourning would be one of them, as I likely won't ever know what my tribal affiliation is. Never knowing who my people were, what language they spoke, the land they lived on...I can't describe just how much it destroys me. It feels like literal death, because that's what it is. A disgusting colonial death. And it's why I abhor that of all my identities, being autistic and being mixed indigenous has been met with the most vitriol online. like i guess people can only handle the trans fag mexican dude when hes not autistic and mixed indigenous, because now I am far too ambigious for anyone else's good. though i do know better than to listen to what random people online have to say about me and my path toward reconnection/neurodivergency.
beside's that, i'm trying to find neurodivergent spaces that feel safe, and I'm trying to find ways to keep myself safe. stimming, carrying stuffed animals around, using fidget toys, engaging in my interests, listening to the same songs, eating the same foods. I've had coffee with bagel and chive+onion cream cheese for over a year now. I've listening to almost only Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains for nearly a year now. I rewatch the same youtube videos over and over again. I wear the same few outfits. I wear the same shoes everyday. I walk the same way to and from campus everyday. I try to be in nature as much as I can, and really see it. I imagine nature where it isn't, and I get emotional thinking about the life that used to be on it. I wish so badly that I was a cat, a horse, a bunny, a deer, all so I could experience life through their eyes. i'm putting trust into people, into the universe, and into myself. safety is hard to come by, but im doing my best to accept the risks of life, trying to be flexible, and learn how to sustain myself for the good of the world. I deserve to be here too.
that's about it. besides that, i'm moving to philly once i'm done with grad school ^-^
#muerto talks#im trying to honor myself more and let myself cry#its okay to take my time to understand my feelings#they catch up to me#all ive ever asked for is time#so im allowing that for myself#ive been a little exhuasted over social communications over the past few months honestly#yknow like when u ask people if theyre okay and theyre like “yeah im doing good” and then u believe them#and then they get mad at u for not pressing them on that and asking them again or digging into their response#yeah ive kind of had that kind of miscommunication over the last few weeks alone and it just tuckered me out#i was like wow i thought i was doing really good staying up with all these new people and dynamics and lingo#welp had to fuck up at some point#i think thats what im trying to convey about not taking sole responsibility for all communication#i just cant it would kill me like it tried to kill me before#and just because people are neurodivergent doesnt mean theyll be curious about your own brand of neurodivergency#anyway i am looking forward to moving to philly once this is all done#boston is definitely not home but im grateful for the time i had here even if a lot of it was painful#but im ready to return to the people and places that feel like home#besides that ive turned in all my finals#just this last week and im out of here for the winter break#i wish everyone love and healing and rest <3
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Knighthoods of the Mail
(pages 919-925)
I really like both these panels, the extreme downward angle on Jade who has the disadvantage of being small and the advantage of being alive and angry, and the close up on Grandpa, both of them lit by the strange pink-orange firelight. Fire and burning is a threat we’ve seen for all four kids now, so it creates that parallel, and also a surreal atmosphere from the composition of both images.
Jade is also speaking in the narration on this page – it’s italicized and first person instead of second, written in her register. None of the other kids have done this yet, the narrator is always between them and us. I like the implication that Jade is overriding the narrator but also the idea that the narrator is like ‘you know what, I’m taking this page off, I’m just gonna let her shout’. It’s fun, and I’m interested to see if it’ll happen more.
I am still pretty fucked up over this reveal but personally I would have done it a little differently – the gut punch of ‘He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive’ (p.920) could have been SO much more effective if it hadn’t already been obvious from their Strife that this is not a living man. Even keeping the original sequence but publishing the pages at the same time would have worked, but sitting for a day between the Strife sequence and that line meant it didn’t hit as hard for me.
I do still have a lot of questions. Jade knows Grandpa is dead but seems to still genuinely believe they’re communicating, and who’s to say they’re not? Who’s to say Jade’s powers don’t tell her exactly what Grandpa is saying or would say in this circumstance? If so, it must be a lot harder psychologically to escape his expectations. But even if Jade’s powers don’t come into it, there’s practical concerns – how long ago did Grandpa die, and does anyone besides Jade even know? It’s easy to say Jade should redecorate the house but living so remotely where mail has to be airdropped in balloons, she’s probably not physically capable of that, and can’t get other people to do it for her. Typheus is a little big to captchalogue and where else would Jade even put him?
So I guess I kind of get it? In the sense of Jade keeping the only life and routine she’s ever known, going through the same motions with a stuffed grandpa that she once did with a real one, because the barriers to doing anything different are so high? It’s really easy to adapt to a strange situation when you don’t have a point of comparison to know it’s strange, and when it happens so regularly that it becomes like autopilot.
We cut back to PM, my absolute beloved, one of my most favorite characters. They haven’t been seriously hurt by Jade’s explosive powers but their head wrappings are on fire (btw is the pointy tail of their head covering the shape of the fabric or the shape of their head??) and some of the mailboxes are tragic casualties of the event, which I may never forgive Jade for.
And then one of the metal worms rescues a mailbox! The all important mailbox with the letter to Dr David Brinner in it! Redemption arc for the metal worms who have definitely learned from their predecessors’ mistakes. This is a beautiful, angelic worm deserving of high honors, and PM knows it, giving them an equally metallic heart. If the postal service had an equivalent for a knighthood for a postal worker who goes above and beyond to preserve the integrity of the mail then PM would award that to this worm. I am thinking about PM as a dispenser of justice – someone with a really strong, inflexible moral code who is willing to impartially punish those who break it and reward those who keep it.
> PM: Bequeath the mailman’s cap to this hero.
#homestuck#reaction#gonna talk abt personal stuff in the tags not relevant to homestuck feel free 2 ignore#yesterday i dmed the finale of the dnd campaign ive been running for the past 2 years#not the first campaign ive run but Definitely the most ambitious. and it was stressful and terrifying and i was doing it scared every time.#i could not have asked for better players i loved all their character arcs sm#it was a beautiful 8 hour finale obv there are things i wish id done differently#but overall im proud of what i made but struggling with the goodbye of it all#bc circumstances have changed during these 2 years and. im probably gonna see these friends a lot less now#and this might be the last time i visit this city where i used to live and where i met these people. definitely the last for a while#not everything is forever its good to end things on a good note and this is a time to move on for lots of reasons#but wow im lucky to have known some very good people. and a beautiful city#and i am sitting by the window in the library on my last day here and watching the cold sunlight on the river and i will miss it all so muc#anyway thats why this post is late bc i was doing prep work for the final battle bc these people deserved a session as good as possible#thats all#chrono
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two sigkins using one of my new favorite brushes
+the rest of the warmup sigkins to test the general feel of all the new brushes i downloaded
#sigkin mo4#mo4#marikinonline4#finally been working on the mdcr headcanons post and im almost done ^_^#all thats left is jeraldy :3 i dont have like.. anything that i add to ven or kouhai so im probably going to leave them out of the post :(#i actually dont have any other doodles to show off here cause ive been focused on finishing the hcs LOL#idk whts up with my new obsession of squaring off sigkins eyes but i think its pretty. i swear atp i draw him different every week..#(i also just think he looks pretty when annoyed. sorry for acting gay about the stickman game characters again)
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wahaha sneak peek!!
#my art#i actually forgot my sneak peek tags so ermmmm we'll see#HI GUYS day one of finals week is complete#i feel really good bc i got a lot of nice comments from one of my art profs and :‚-) im really enjoying being an art major yall#i should be working on my other final but im like halfway done with it and i have til thursday to finish it soooooooo i have time lol#BUT YEAH i feel like its been ages since ive drawn a wc character so of Course im drawing scourge#i almost drew tigerclawstar but yolo#also btw the sorcerer dog is still up for auction!! no offers yet but if by the time the 20th rolls around i'll probably keep the design fo#myself >:3c#ALSO IM RUNNING BACK IN HERE TO SAY i love drawing scourge with this brush its so him
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i really dont think qwel is racist/transphobic guys /srs
I've seen a lot of posts talking about how excited they are for Rox to be fired from the team, but also talking about how much they don't like Qwel for 1. defending him and also 2. some things stated in a doc about Qwel. I'll see if I can link the Qwel Doc, and you can read it over yourself of course, but I'm just going to give my own two cents as a grooming victim, a transmasc nonbinary individual, and as someone who read over the document.
I agree, Qwel should apologize for defending him for so long, however it is mentioned by both Qwel and inside the document that new information came out. It's not like Qwel had a sudden change of heart about what we already knew, but something else came out that we don't know about yet. However, please do remember that Rox was grooming not only people, but also their entire staff team, which very likely includes Qwel. You can be groomed as an adult, and while you should understand and apologize that what you did in that situation was wrong, she was very likely being manipulated.
EDIT: added this screenshot. Rox was indeed manipulating Qwel and lying to her for years. Also an apology, a short one but still an apology.
The Qwel document is very old, and the creator of the document themselves have put multiple notices and, at this point, completely moved the old doc around, in order for people to understand that it is old and not professionally created. That doesn't make the points in the document moot, but it does mean even the creator doesn't believe they're as important as people are making them out to be, and the creator also no longer, and has no longer, wanted to be involved in any of this.
This point is when I tackle the contents of the Qwel doc itself. I wish to note that while my tone may become less professional and potentially aggressive, I do not mean any harm to anyone involved in the doc or people who believe in the doc wholeheartedly. I am simply putting in my two cents. I will also be using the same codenames for people as they do in the document as well as color-coding them, for ease of reading. I will also be calling the creator A, again for ease of reading. Please, click the Read More link to read the rest of my thoughts.
EDIT: Also added more screenshots of Qwel being manipulated and lied to by Rox at the bottom. I believe Rox was grooming Qwel in order to keep the relationship they had and power he had in Blushcrush. This isn't about Rox, but Qwel, so I won't deep dive into that, but that is my belief from what we know.
The Qwel document is, at the very least, almost five years old now. I don't have concrete dates for anything else in this document besides the first event, so I have to assume everything else came out at around the same time. Qwel was, in these screenshots, fifteen years old. A lot can change in four/five years, including the way you respond to others, speak to others, and think of issues such as race and gender/sexuality. Even A themselves state to 'excuse the way they word things, as they didn't fully understand the LGBTQ+ community.'
A stated 'Qwel said I was acting like a creep for being friendly and clingy to Dark Pit' but has no examples, written or screenshots, of how exactly they were treating Dark Pit besides talking about them while they wasn't around, DMing them often enough to make them anxious, and become overwhelming for the people around them including Dark Pit. I don't want to shift the blame onto A, but talking about how 'cool' someone is and that alone doesn't seem like the same thing as what Qwel was describing in their talk. A also, in the screenshots, agrees that everything Qwel said was true to a point. This conversation doesn't seem like Qwel is trying to be manipulative or 'pushing A to admit their feelings,' as Qwel really only says 'hey what's going on with you two' and lets A explain themselves. Qwel had also spoken to Dark Pit beforehand about their crush, so A's behavior was obvious enough in that regard.
Dark Pit has anxiety, very bad anxiety, and that's stated multiple times throughout this part of the document. Dark Pit also has a fear of confrontation, to the point where they are scared of asking A to stop DMing them and 'being seen as mean.' Dark Pit and Qwel spoke together before Qwel spoke to A, so it's likely that Dark Pit was the one to tell Qwel to let A know that they weren't interested in a relationship. Qwel did say, jokingly, 'no one else is as strong a speaker as I am,' so that could be implying that Dark Pit asked her to tell him.
I don't think we have enough information about Sheik to say why exactly Qwel told Sheik about what happened, if she knew A didn't like them, or what, so while I can't say anything about this, I will repeat that Sheik apologized and that they are on better terms currently. I don't know why Qwel is acting like she doesn't know this person if they were/are truthfully 'best friends,' but we have no screenshots showing any of this and it could be that Qwel forgot about them. Also, I believe being fifteen is an alright excuse for mediating something that you arguably shouldn't have been involved in. You were young and dumb, and it's been five years. You make bad decisions when you're fifteen.
If A's actions were making Dark Pit and other users uncomfortable, and A wasn't understanding that in order to make it stop, then I can see why fifteen-year-old Qwel thought the best thing to do was make them talk to each other about their problems. A also states that Qwel got in between their relationship earlier, but then states that Qwel was forcing them to confront each other alone. The paragraph that A states Qwel 'made them believe they were a bad friend and forced them to apologize to her' has no dates, screenshots, or anything in detail to explain any of these claims. Qwel, very likely, did not mean to implant anxiety within their head about their friendships. While perhaps she did, we can't say as there are no screenshots or anything besides A's own words.
This next part is set in 2022. We do not know how much A and Mii Brawler spoke over the others in the voice chat, so I cannot say much about that situation. I will agree that calling someone autistic as an insult is not right. If this did happen, as Mii Brawler doesn't remember and there is a chance that A misheard, that was not right of Qwel. There is no proof of this occurring and only one person involved remembers it happening at all.
The following paragraph and screenshot are matters between Qwel and A and what I take as a misunderstanding. Qwel thought they gladly accepted the testing job, A only did for the money. Qwel thought they were still actively talking to each other, A says they only texted about work and the such. There is no proof to any of these claims besides the single screenshot of Qwel saying her own opinion on the matter. Qwel not trying to argue against the claims of being 'two-faced' doesn't really mean anything, I believe. It's an opinion, the document was small at the time and didn't really say much about that, there were more pressing matters to discuss. Not mentioning it does not mean she accepted the title.
This is when we get into the claims of racism/transphobia. Note that the Japanese GF and Mii Brawler are the same color, not the same person. I just ran out of colors to use.
I do not know if the Korean GF and the Japanese GF are the same person, considering Qwel mentions her GF being 'part Japanese,' so I will make two different assumptions depending on if they are or aren't. We do not know why Qwel decided to make a Japanese-themed stage for her girlfriend, how much her girlfriend was aware of it or gave ideas or what-have-you. However, if the Korean GF and the Japanese GF are the same person, this has no racial implications. And even if they aren't, you are allowed to enjoy the aesthetics of another race without it being racist. If the Korean GF likes Japanese aesthetics and themes, that is not racist. The 'waifu' line definitely sounds bad out of context, but there is a chance it was simply a joke. The entire tone of the screenshot seems kind of non-serious, with the 'crazy shit yo' and such. You can definitely argue that it's a joke in bad taste, for sure, but it doesn't seem like Qwel genuinely believed/believes her GF is actually a real anime girl or anything like that. Qwel is a lesbian. A lesbian, by definition, is a woman (or woman-aligned individual) who is exclusively interested in relationships with other women or women-aligned individuals. (This is a very complex conversation about gender and sexuality but I am trying to keep it simple to follow, please don't argue with me about this /gen.) If Qwel's partner at the time came out as nonbinary, and either of them didn't feel comfortable in the relationship due to Qwel's being a lesbian, that is not transphobic. We also don't know why they broke up, if that was even the reason at all. We don't know why Qwel unfriended Sheik, if that was related to their being nonbinary or not. These could be completely unrelated events. Qwel saying she 'doesn't understand nonbinary people' and not wanting to talk about it is also not proof of her being transphobic. The transgender umbrella, the transgender experience, and everything surrounding being transgender can be confusing, especially to cisgender people who aren't educated or didn't know much about it at the time. Every person's experience and view of it is different, as well. Being confused and not understanding something as vast as being transgender does not automatically make you transphobic.
The final paragraphs of this document are used as summarization, while also stating things that A said were probably accidental (the racism claim) as fact. I'm not going to tackle these, I've been working on this for hours and I don't even know if I will be able to get this to actually post. Please take care, take care of yourselves, and keep an open mind. Make sure to think over what you're given, and don't just repeat what you hear other people say.
EDIT: Qwel being manipulated by Rox. Btw, the definition of grooming is "when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them." Adults can be groomed, as well. Just to make this clear.
#dandys world#dandy's world#roblox#blushcrush#i dont know what else to tag this as uh. i shrug. um?#discourse cw#cw discourse#i wasnt sure how far to go with the colorcoding but i do hope it helps reading a little bit! sorry not used to making big posts on here#aah. finally done. i started writing this at like 4. maybe 5?#its now almost 9. ooh jeez#thank you for reading my thoughts. been mulling this over for a bit#and if ive missed anything please tell me! i do try my best to be educated on matters like this#either way its a day to celebrate! rox does not corun blushcrush and we didnt lose all of his assets which i was concerned would be a +#problem if he did leave. it would be best to change all his assets and programming but that would take a very very long time and is not +#the highest priority i believe. anyway sorry rambling in the tags again#grooming tw#tw grooming#grooming cw#cw grooming
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Latest Infinite fusion update! Plus the separate files of the corsola/gardevoir cus Im very proud of it haha
#the miltank/garde line was inspired by traditional dutch clothes :]#the version on here is also outdated. the miltank garde line got some extra polish n cheese in the final but its fine#most of these are either bears or gardevoir. or both#im starting to accept im just best at gardevoir haha#its humanoid. and fashion#which i am better at then creatures and pokemon#i am also working on full maqua pmd lines for a personalised playthrough...#ive got archies n maxes lines done actually#just need to finish the admins#pokemon infinite fusion#the uhh#regular gardevoir here isnt a fusion. its a base for ppl to use#but it was actually originally my pmd max lmao#obviously changed the hair n coat here to fit regular gard#but there is a maxie version out there#that will b shared once i finish the rest of the darn team
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